Good evening lovelies….. 🙂
This weekend, I devoted my time to looking for a place to call home, a place to call my boo!! Now, I don’t have millions to put into this new home, but I do want it’s presence to speak volumes… It’s imperative for it to look as if someone cared and took the time to tailor each and every intricate detail of its being…
Lately, I’ve been going house hunting with my sister and she’s much more experienced in the area so I truly value her opinion. While looking, we both take note of what our expectations are– number of bedrooms, square feet, beautiful siding, well kept scenery, beautiful landscaping, safe neighborhoods, how many fine men are in the parking lot, etc. 😉 During this process, I had the opportunity to notice how impulsive and unrealistic my expectations are in addition to noting how compromising and optimistic my sister’s were. My dream homes were absolutely beautiful! Gorgeous structures, clean neighborhoods, fine men in the parking lot, I mean these places were IT!!!! Then I happened to check the price tag and saw that they wanted too dang much! Now hold on honey, I don’t know about you but I work in the human services field which means I’m one cut above the cashier at McDonald’s. But I digress…
When looking for an apartment, I make mental notes of each tedious “requirement”… new black kitchen appliances, a fireplace, spacious living room, light carpet (if any), washer and dryer included, lake view, no dog crap on the sidewalks, green grass in the winter, red carpet on the sidewalk, maintenance at my disposal, and a complimentary good morning call from either R. Kelly or Mr. Obama every morning at 9:42 am…. all for $435/month. I went from place to place this weekend and within every complex, I was able to find something wrong, even the most minute thing became a deal breaker. I went to complex after complex and JUST when I thought I was ready to seal the deal, I saw these dated a*$ cabinets or either the carpet was a dingy tan or ash tray grey. Immediate dismissal and crossed off my list. How could I live in a place with kitchen cabinets I KNOW I saw on an episode of “That 70’s Show”?!? No way…
Now my sister on the other hand, she has a totally different approach. She can look at a house that looks like a shack and see nothing but potential. I’m telling you, this house can have the screen door missing, have cracked cement stairs with a gangsta lean, and a ghost staring at you from the attic window and she will STILL consider it if the price and location is right! Just weeks ago, we saw a house that I would have driven by doing 75 in a 30 but she wanted to stop and take a look inside so we did. The entire time, I sat in the car because for 1), it didn’t have the look to make me wanna shake sum’n for a house payment, and 2). it wasn’t big and pretty enough. Now this is not to say that she doesn’t desire a home with all of the works, or that she has less than average taste, she just knows potential when she sees it! She has an impeccable eye for it…. I’ve seen her live in homes with exteriors that looked completely average but the interior style and décor were nothing short of amazing!! I’m telling you, her work is gonna be featured on the cover of SEVERAL issues of “Home & Décor”. It’s coming, just wait on it!
In the middle of my search yesterday, I couldn’t help but think of how difficult looking for an apartment was! They either looked too cheap, too country, or were too expensive! Why couldn’t I find what I was looking for with the price to match?! Right then and there, I IMMEDIATELY began to think of how house hunting compared to my dating life. Time after time, I’ve been told how shallow I was and how much I needed to rid myself of the image of a “put together man”. They would say, “Nic, you need to look at your requirements and see if what you’re asking for is a bit too much.” or “Maybe you haven’t found what you’re looking for because he doesn’t exist…” Not once was I told to settle for someone who I didn’t feel I could build a life with; however, I was told to reexamine my standards to ensure they were realistic. And my thinking cap immediately turned on… How many times have I not considered someone because they didn’t have the “look” I was going for not knowing the interior was absolutely breathtaking?? Or how many times have I passed up the house that wasn’t always in the best neighborhood but it was historical in nature and it’s value was a cut above the rest?? How often do we all do this??
I then began examining my life and the lives of people I knew. Let’s go back to my sister who can turn a crack house into a cornerstone home….. her methods of house hunting are truly aligned with her dating rituals. For example, she would date some men who I wouldn’t consider for a number of reasons– they didn’t live in the right neighborhood, didn’t have the look I was going for, or they didn’t have enough square feet! LoL! 😉 . (Don’t y’all be out there shaking your head at me, we just have different taste dangit! #djm) But that never stopped her… when she makes a commitment to someone, she makes it her duty to look into their windows to see their interior… regardless of their “property value”. No matter what neighborhood they lived or how well-kept their edges were, she invested her time and energy into each and every room of their life and polished it until she revealed something beautiful and priceless… until she was able to showcase to the world the beauty she saw within. Talk about diamonds in the rough…
This really made me do some soul searching and reexamine my methods. Why did I struggle with allowing myself to appreciate the potential of others and accepting them as is?? Why do I continuously drive past places I could potentially call home? Because they were too small? Too cheap? Or had a tiny stain on the carpet that could easily be fixed with one quick cleaning? Was I setting myself up for failure? After all, who’s to say these “well put together homes” didn’t solicit unwanted attention that was sure to accompany them sometime in the future? Or even more, how could I be sure that some homes we tend to pass up fail to illuminate their external beauty because previous occupants didn’t take the time to appreciate and nurture their amenities?? Dang, I really had some thinking to do…
Now don’t let this post fool you, I still ain’t finna live in no dang shack with pea green cabinets and ashy carpet with Newport holes in them! I ain’t get THAT much insight!! LoL! BUT, I am learning that I can be a bit more lenient in my preferences. Maybe my dream home doesn’t have to have all of the furnishings upfront– the most beautiful and worthwhile accessories may come years down the line with maturity and patience. Am I still leasing with the intent to own?? You bet your bottom dollar I am. But do I need to still work on myself in the meantime so I can be sure the property I’m offering is compatible with the tenants I want to occupy it? You better believe it! Doesn’t the property manager need to ensure they’re meeting the expectations of its occupants?? INDEED! So until my next tenant comes dressed as Mr. Right, I’ll be out of the office doing property renovations… Be back soon!
Peace and blessings y’all,
Sucka4luvv
Love: The Beauty, The Beast, The Battle..... 