Lupe said it best, “Bitch bad, woman good, lady better….”
(Now u know I gotta give y’all a disclaimer before I begin to help eliminate the bs and unnecessary opinions). Let’s make it clear that I’m no stranger to the b word. I’ve used it before, I use it now, and with the help of a bunch of holy oil and prayer from y’all, I’ll eliminate it from my vocabulary some time in the near future. But as of now, I’m stuck in the middle stage so don’t judge me dangit! I still love Jesus! (Wait, was that blasphemy?!) LoL! Ok anyways, here we go…
Remember back in the day (I’m thinking high school) when you could go to the flea market with one mission and one mission only– to get u a bomb a$$ gold chain. The Chinese salesman behind the counter would do his best to convince you that he was selling you top of the line 14K gold, straight from the Earth’s core. You hesitated on buying it because you questioned it’s authenticity and if you were really getting a good deal. Besides, the one in the case next to it looked better and you could tell by the price tag that it was legit. You couldn’t afford the more expensive one (despite its amazing quality) but there was no way you were leaving without your chain. Even though you knew there was one better, this one LOOKED good and you knew you could have it right now. So in all the little Chinese man’s infinite wisdom and persuasion, you bought the cheaper one. It was originally priced at $250 but since he needed a sale and it looked so good on your nice smooth skin, he sold it to you for a one-time-only $134.99, plus tax. You wore that chain faithfully and blew kisses at yourself in the mirror because you knew you looked good. Until one day you were feeling yourself and noticed that the chain was beginning to look brown in some spots. You thought to yourself, “Nah, I’m trippin. I just bought this chain. I’ll jus flip it on the other side.” After all, u paid $134.99 +tax for that chain! Ain’t no way your 14K gold is fading. About 2 weeks later, you examine it a little closer and you began to notice that some of the links are turning green. You had a slight itch but you’re thinking you’re just having a reaction to the new laundry detergent your mama started using. All of those excuses were cool until they led you to aisle 16 to buy that OTC antibiotic cream. And Idk bout you, but I don’t like a nigga with a rash…. 😉
How true is this of dating?? How often do we opt for what looks good instead of what IS good– praying that every piece of glitter we see is gold. TOO often, I see people (especially men) select partners based on face value. They have no idea of the character she possesses, and in all actuality, they may not even care. Yo chick bad lookin like a bag of money. And what’s more important than having sum’n on ya arm that makes not only men, but females stop and stare?? Now, don’t be fooled– some will tell you that their “dream woman” cooks, cleans, has a good job, and is loyal. What they DON’T tell you is that they will GLADLY skip by her loyal ass for the red bone with 32′ Brazilian weave and a fatty. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve noted inconsistencies between what we desire and what we choose. Why don’t we choose what we say we want?
Allow me to introduce you to 2 females… Kisha and Kelly. Ms. Kisha will be our baddie and Ms. Kelly is going to play the role of our good woman. Here’s a couple of stats on them both…
Ms. Kisha (THE bad b!tch):
* 5’4 (cuz of course all bad b!tches are short)
* Light skinned (She’s mixed with black, white, Asian, Puerto Rican, Italian, and we can’t forget the infamous Cherokee Indian. Everybody gotta lil Indian in em.)
* Has “good hair”
* Slim waist
* Big booty (may be booty pads, implants, or au naturale. Idk, it’s jus big)
* Employed as a CNA (b!tches love wearing scrubs)
* Has 2 sons by 2 different men
* Gets hella food stamps
* Has a Hello Kitty tramp stamp along with paw tattoos on her tits and a colorful leopard arm sleeve
* Lives in an apartment (He love her cuz she got her own.)
* Can’t cook
* Attends church occasionally (and by this I mean Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Easter)
* Turns up every weekend (Y.O.L.O.)
* Always in the latest and freshest (Giuseppe’s and Red Bottoms are her favorite)
* Her goal is to one day own her own hair salon in Atlanta or be in Wayne’s next video (Just gotta make it)
Ms. Kelly (the good woman)
* 5’8 (she ate all her veggies growing up)
* Brown skinned/ dark skinned
* Natural hair (Ms. happy to be nappy… she’s one wash & go away from Angela Davis)
* Average body type (She’s no stranger to the gym but she likes to smash too)
* Employed as the Senior Vice President of Finance and Marketing at Georgia State University
* Can cook
* Actively attends church and is heavily involved in the single’s ministry
* Just purchased a home in Buckhead, Georgia (She got that money baby, money baby, money babbbyyyy :K Camp vc:)
* Has 1 child from a previous marriage
* Doesn’t turn up every weekend, but lives for good music and the opportunity to get cute)
* Owns a couple of MK bags but would rather invest her money into her daughter’s future
* Her goal is to one day be the president of Georgia State University and retire at 45.
Of the 2, which do you think is the chosen one? I don’t know if I just associate with the wrong crowd, but hands down, I can guarantee that 97% of the men I know will gladly choose Ms. Kisha primarily based on her physical appearance. How does this happen? In my opinion, the definition of a quality woman has somewhere gotten lost in the midst of videos, ass shots, and weave bundles. On what seems to be a daily basis, I am forced to face the harsh reality that bad bitches have become the prize; leaving the good women either single or settling. Here’s the underlying message I see without fail: “Work to look like a bad b!tch or stay single until you’re 40 and he realizes that there’s more to life than a girl wit a big butt who can twerk sum’n. Am I the only who’s noticed the plethora of good, quality women still single while every ratchet chick you can find is cuffed and posting usies on Instagram?! ” It’s amazing to me how we as humans fail to appreciate the bigger picture and comprehend the age old adage that looks fade but character remains. It’s clearly a thing of the past… It’s no wonder why so many people question love. It’s because what used to be so beautiful has become so mundane…. Job well done.
Before I leave, I’m going to leave you with this, “To set in your mind and really mess with your conceptions, discretions, and reflections is clever misdirection.” To continuously believe that bad b!tches are the goal will leave you terribly misguided– causing you to reexamine your standards only to see that what you needed was there all along (you know, that chain you overlooked because it was too expensive).
A Good Woman will:
Nourish you, both physically and mentally
Be your #1 cheerleader
Encourage you to grow
Love you unconditionally
Push you past your potential
Breathe life into you to ensure every goal you have is achieved
A Bad Bitch will (this hoe needs a warning label):
Be there with you until the next man promises a come up. Point, blank, and the period.
I LOVE how urban dictionary depicted the definition of a bad b!tch:
“(Noun): The term “Bad Bitch” originated most commonly by music artist to describe females that had a bad attitude, but an attractive body. Being a “Bad Bitch” does not mean they have a job, can cook good, clean good or anything defined above. Don’t be fooled by the previous definitions, for they do NOT define what a bad bitch truly.
You can usually find bad bitches dancing in videos with barely any clothes on, in your local strip club, or joining the groupie hoes when Waka,Rick Ross, or Juicy J is in town.
Opposite of Lady or Wifey.”
Be mindful of the fool’s gold. Although it is aesthetically appealing, don’t allow it to lead you back down aisle 16 looking for antibiotic cream. As I’ve stated before, no one wants a ni69a with a rash. Remember, b!tch bad, woman good, lady better…. Choose wisely people ♥